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messyfoola89

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messyfoola89
  • Town/Country : Tampa, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 February 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1984
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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messyfoola89's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (54594)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML

#2594715 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (15278) - you deserved it (37730)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (77261) - you deserved it (3978)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

#2593588 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (54677) - you deserved it (2523)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut M&M's at work when I exclaimed "oh cool they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes but I did eventually realize that I was looking at a regular M&M sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers uncontrollable laughter. FML

#1023184 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9297) - you deserved it (53832)

On 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by StewPit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching TV, randomly she starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited she says to me "Just Joking". FML

#946704 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (111171) - you deserved it (14785)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML

#945655 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (59045) - you deserved it (9455)

On 04/13/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by traveller (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was driving and I saw was a dog running onto the road, I slammed on the brakes to a completely stop. Multiple cars crashed into the back of my car. It turns out it wasn't a dog, it was just newspaper blown by the wind. FML

#943604 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (22846) - you deserved it (36680)

On 04/13/2009 at 1:41am - animals - by Peta - Canada

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

#837103 (586)

I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (115418)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)

Today, for about the fifth time, my neighbors parked blocking my driveway. After parking across the street I stuck a note on their windshield reading “Nice park job asshole“, only to find out that their nephew just passed away and everyone was gathering to go to the viewing. FML

#765740 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (19342) - you deserved it (37046)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

#765462 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (56014) - you deserved it (5348)

On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (170872) - you deserved it (52081)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

#754264 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (47868) - you deserved it (7763)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by Nutless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

#664104 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (293612) - you deserved it (16506)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn'tcome back. FML

#662645 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (60813)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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