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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mercyFML

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mercyFML
  • Town/Country : It's just growls.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20035
  • Number of comments : 5309
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mercyFML : ‘ ̿’\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿



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mercyFML's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent all day passing out fliers advertising my services as a psychic. I got one call only. The caller wanted to inform me that I had mispelt the word "psychic" on my flier. She was right. FML

#13610871 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (3852) - you deserved it (23924)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cousin and his fiancee took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML

#13357555 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (6382) - you deserved it (19186)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML

#13345855 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (5801) - you deserved it (21999)

On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#13146881 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (3008)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm - animals - by tracie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816 (205)

I agree, your life sucks (19033) - you deserved it (12764)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was supposed to be going on my first date with a guy I really liked. He never showed up. I just found out my dad was outside washing the car when my date showed up. He told him he didn't have a daughter and to never show up on his driveway again. FML

#12376475 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (31152) - you deserved it (1872)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, while driving I made a fake phone call with my fake boyfriend, making him sound amazing to my friends who were in the car with me. Until the red and blue flashing lights pulled up behind us. My fake boyfriend cost me $160 in real fines. FML

#12376423 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (4254) - you deserved it (39962)

On 08/07/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

#12271969 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (21483) - you deserved it (2996)

On 08/02/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Doubleyew1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

#12271784 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (9011) - you deserved it (15315)

On 08/02/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by toomuchlove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

#12231460 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (28580) - you deserved it (2381)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by wtf (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

#12231290 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (18861) - you deserved it (11982)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (8782) - you deserved it (48678)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I took my 8 year old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

#7694418 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (19792) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

#7586565 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML

#7412437 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (11007) - you deserved it (1542)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by heterolifepartner (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)