♥ Currently reading The Wild Things by Dave Eggers ♥
Watching the shark jump..
The Moar You Know! *~--
Today I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
I agree, your life sucks (975) - you totally deserved it (3056)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8921) - you totally deserved it (15918)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I handed out 30 resumes only to find out, after the last resume was handed out, my brother had changed the last sentence of every paragraph to 'I am a massive douche bag.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (23557) - you totally deserved it (4041)
On 10/18/2009 at 6:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29491) - you totally deserved it (4110)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you totally deserved it (4721)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today while cleaning up I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29849) - you totally deserved it (1851) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at my friends house for the first time in months. I saw her newest chihuahua dog, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit, straight into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9299) - you totally deserved it (17514)
On 09/23/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by GreatAim - United States (Ohio)
Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26561) - you totally deserved it (1721)
On 09/18/2009 at 1:48pm - health - by anonymous - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3626) - you totally deserved it (31133)
On 09/16/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Jennnn (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7156) - you totally deserved it (29505)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, there was a car taking up 3 spaces. I left a note on the windshield that said "I hope your children come out retarded." As I was walking back, I saw the owner of the car loading her crippled son into the backseat, she needed the extra room to maneuver his wheelchair up into her car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6096) - you totally deserved it (75056)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by Failtron (man) - United States (California)
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8762) - you totally deserved it (27512)
On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13416) - you totally deserved it (3964)
On 08/22/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
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On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62909) - you totally deserved it (2171)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
