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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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mercury42

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mercury42
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 311
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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mercury42's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up and walked out of my room, only to find that the wooden frame at the bottom of the door was busted to pieces. The screen to the fireplace was open as well. This is the second time a squirrel has come down the chimney and destroyed our door. I still have no idea where he is. FML

#7420075 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (14955) - you deserved it (1487)

On 01/18/2010 at 2:33pm - animals - by Intoxicunt (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML

#5586348 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (3763)

On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (50332) - you deserved it (2349)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

#4609824 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (8368) - you deserved it (53069)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)