mentallizzard

Search for a member

Offline (the 11/30/2016 at 8:14pm)

mentallizzard

2Fucked!

mentallizzardmentallizzard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3224
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About mentallizzard : meh

mentallizzard's page activity

Visits<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 11/24/2016 at 2:44pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:28pm<b>stickitup455</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:23am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:11pm<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Yolomcswaggin420</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:45pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:07am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:55pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:45pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:16am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:24am<b>jquaw</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:49pm<b>kylu7373</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:49pm<b>chefcow</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:20pm<b>MrCheeseOnToast</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:06pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:08pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:28am

Fucked!<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:27am<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:00pm

mentallizzard's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of mentallizzard's badges

mentallizzard's favorite FMLs

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

by robinhoood / 04/20/2009 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 10:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

by 00Evan / 04/05/2009 at 9:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

by nic / 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

by Miller_Time / 03/18/2009 at 2:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

by Christen / 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

by The V Sal / 02/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

by elsaza / 11/18/2008 at 7:16am / Love