mentallizzard

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Offline (the 06/30/2016 at 4:06am)

mentallizzard

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mentallizzardmentallizzard
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 July 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2310
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About mentallizzard : meh

mentallizzard's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:28pm<b>stickitup455</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:14pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:23am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 8:11pm<b>dyoy_87</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Yolomcswaggin420</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 5:45pm<b>Random_Princess</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 2:07am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:55pm<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:45pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:16am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:24am<b>jquaw</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 10:49pm<b>kylu7373</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:49pm<b>chefcow</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:20pm<b>MrCheeseOnToast</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:06pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 12:08pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 9:28am<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:14pm

Fucked!<b>CitricAcid</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:27am<b>CurtisGirl</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 3:00pm

mentallizzard's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of mentallizzard's badges

mentallizzard's favorite FMLs

Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML

by Sneezy123 / 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

by DrGas / 09/04/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

by DrGas / 09/04/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

by Ouch / 08/15/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

by jennabean / 08/12/2009 at 12:13am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

by emkatch / 07/21/2009 at 3:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

by spitballer1 / 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

by spitballer1 / 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

by rollerSWEETness / 06/03/2009 at 11:16am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

by Benji / 05/20/2009 at 3:53pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML

by dammitall / 05/15/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

by fuckMYlife94321 / 04/26/2009 at 12:21pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous