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mentallizzard

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mentallizzard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 606
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mentallizzard : meh

mentallizzard's page activity

Visits<b>SrgntSprnkls77</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:50pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:28am<b>ThankYouGoodbye</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:29am<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:23pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:14am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:36am<b>msunique_me</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:51am<b>penis_hilton</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:40am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:11am<b>patience_nichole</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:01am<b>Lahariim</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:48am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:41pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:39am<b>neeni88</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:16am<b>Wyaru</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:04pm<b>CVP3</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:34pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:13pm

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

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mentallizzard's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

#13934801
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:29am - intimacy - by shopper242 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (7985)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

#13481200
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (7985)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68802) - you deserved it (7744)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

#12426851
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28997) - you deserved it (8668)

On 08/10/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by kylie - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

#12426851
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28997) - you deserved it (8668)

On 08/10/2010 at 3:22am - intimacy - by kylie - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (48765)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#11570883
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8299) - you deserved it (53842)

On 06/30/2010 at 7:06pm - misc - by Crash (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22940) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

#7169187
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27369) - you deserved it (3468)

On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

#6464723
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23635) - you deserved it (7626)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by smellsofeggs (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27362) - you deserved it (5691)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

#6265559
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (4400)

On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)

Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML

#5911952
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52771) - you deserved it (2378)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by BobbyHutchinson (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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