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mentallizzard

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mentallizzard

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 17 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 627
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mentallizzard : meh

mentallizzard's page activity

Visits<b>SrgntSprnkls77</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:50pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:28am<b>ThankYouGoodbye</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:29am<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:23pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 10:14am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 6:36am<b>msunique_me</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:51am<b>penis_hilton</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 5:40am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 4:11am<b>patience_nichole</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 3:01am<b>Lahariim</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:48am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Blake77</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 5:41pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:39am<b>neeni88</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:16am<b>Wyaru</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:04pm<b>CVP3</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:34pm<b>shay_serendipity</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:13pm

mentallizzard's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of mentallizzard's badges

mentallizzard's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51764) - you deserved it (6511)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

#20889355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (2521)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by -.- - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

#20875790
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (6151)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by Grand Slam (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45889) - you deserved it (3394)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50450) - you deserved it (4874)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38585) - you deserved it (3947)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49505) - you deserved it (8065)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59702) - you deserved it (10730)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28366) - you deserved it (3316)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. The movie was in 3D, and he couldn't help but notice it would be much cooler if you could feel what the characters did. He spent the next two hours slapping me every time the person in the movie did, claiming the movie would be "better". FML

#20542280
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (5761)

On 03/13/2013 at 5:06pm - misc - by bruised - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44878) - you deserved it (7311)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (10322)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (38470)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)



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