mendozaale

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mendozaale

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 February 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1000
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mendozaale : Why would you give a damn anyways?

mendozaale's page activity

Visits<b>dafuq1</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:50am<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:50pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 3:51am<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 6:13am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:39pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:38pm<b>jon06</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:55am<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:50pm<b>xadoringx</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 6:25am<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 2:00pm<b>wopchop12</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Alvarortor</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:36pm<b>noobly28</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Mooish</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 1:04am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 12:08pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 12:33pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 9:06pm<b>Morqan_Freeman</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 12:23am

mendozaale's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mendozaale's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

by parenting_failure / 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm / Kids

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

by RyanM / 02/13/2011 at 4:01am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 3:09am / France / Animals

Today, during PE I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

by Jim / 01/25/2011 at 3:27am / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

by ohsnap / 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

by dwhitehouse / 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 4:10pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 4:10pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML

by brandon / 01/10/2011 at 12:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML

by brandon / 01/10/2011 at 12:04pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous