Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mendozaale

Search for a member

mendozaale

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 17 February 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 761
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About mendozaale : Why would you give a damn anyways?

mendozaale's page activity

Visits<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:38pm<b>jon06</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 11:55am<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 11:50pm<b>xadoringx</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 6:25am<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 2:00pm<b>wopchop12</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:07pm<b>Alvarortor</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 7:36pm<b>noobly28</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Mooish</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 1:04am<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 12:08pm<b>domolovesyoshi</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 12:33pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 9:06pm<b>Morqan_Freeman</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 12:23am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 1:41am<b>DubCantStep</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 9:55pm<b>Tari</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 11:40am<b>zDylanz</b> - the 03/30/2011 at 10:21pm<b>Edenbeam</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 10:52pm

mendozaale's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mendozaale's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48770) - you deserved it (8016)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46839) - you deserved it (8187)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15389) - you deserved it (58853)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (7939)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49043) - you deserved it (3996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, during PE I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

#14706405
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (3758)

On 01/25/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Jim -

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (5074)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24791) - you deserved it (2568)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40814) - you deserved it (26854) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (31488)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (31488)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

#14567301
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (4437)

On 01/13/2011 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

#14567301
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (4437)

On 01/13/2011 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Lebanon

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML

#14532580
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5846) - you deserved it (28351)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:04pm - misc - by brandon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML

#14532580
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5846) - you deserved it (28351)

On 01/10/2011 at 12:04pm - misc - by brandon - Canada (Alberta)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: