mendini

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/20/2016 at 12:16am)

mendini

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 October 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2782
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mendini : I'll fill this out eventually

mendini's page activity

Visits<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 7:16am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 8:16am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:38am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 1:55am<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 7:22pm<b>Comicath</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 4:45pm<b>apeshit94</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 2:23pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 2:12pm<b>NateshN</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 3:17pm<b>empbob</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:25pm<b>emirie</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 1:11pm<b>Schaus</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 6:16pm<b>semper_amo</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 2:06am<b>His_Holiness</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 12:31pm<b>Mirailecious</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 3:51pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 5:12pm<b>HKCgrimmjow</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 2:14am<b>McNikk</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 12:12pm

Fucked!<b>Skycop_S</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 7:35am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 7:54am<b>Maloonatic</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 1:22am<b>Comicath</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 10:45pm

mendini's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of mendini's badges

mendini's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I tossed half a sausage to a dog sitting beside a park bench. It wasn't until he lunged for it and dragged the man beside him off of the bench that I realized it was a seeing eye dog. FML

by SolaceInRage / 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

by butnotlikethat / 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm / China (Jiangxi) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

by Kimberpoo / 03/14/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

by OptimusVader / 03/13/2013 at 9:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML

by defrauded / 03/08/2013 at 1:44pm / United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute) / Money

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

by orely44 / 03/08/2013 at 9:13am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2013 at 2:19am / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

by Great. / 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm / Brazil (Minas Gerais) / Kids

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

by likearacehorse / 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous