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mendini

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mendini
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 October 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 651
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mendini's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of mendini's badges

mendini's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7268) - you deserved it (80982)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59583) - you deserved it (3343)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13833) - you deserved it (62267)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

#4950389
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37151) - you deserved it (8703)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:54am - love - by crawfo (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

#4407922
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38232) - you deserved it (2915)

On 08/09/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by foojew93 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML

#4359168
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53885) - you deserved it (5957)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:23am - money - by goin4broke (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML

#1680929
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13205) - you deserved it (57575)

On 05/05/2009 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by JoeyDizz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14965) - you deserved it (136598)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

#590218
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14070) - you deserved it (91309)

On 03/24/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Loho (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML

#546076
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7924) - you deserved it (90339)

On 03/23/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by mbrooke (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227001) - you deserved it (29227)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25401) - you deserved it (130598)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

#183630
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78561) - you deserved it (11305)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm - misc - by EPICfml. (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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