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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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melodyalam

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melodyalam
  • Town/Country : Roswell, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 June 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 299
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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melodyalam's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

#5116471 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (1328)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML

#5113950 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (15921) - you deserved it (30497)

On 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by c-mack (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (4321)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (40888) - you deserved it (5328)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my aunt to pluck my eyebrows since hers are perfectly done. What I didn't know is she gets hers professionally shaped and she doesn't know how to shape eyebrows. I now look like a surprised Vulcan. FML

#4606857 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (28631) - you deserved it (14848)

On 08/17/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (15505)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697 (372)

I agree, your life sucks (86647) - you deserved it (3588)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

#4329810 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (48573) - you deserved it (1874)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:10am - misc - by slamo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (19146) - you deserved it (28138)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (56074)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML

#4299271 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (9417) - you deserved it (38834)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (39700) - you deserved it (5105)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50429) - you deserved it (10397)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, we had a hike at my camp. We hiked in a line. I suddenly felt things hitting me at the back of the head. After a few minutes I finally turn around, only to discover a bunch of older guys throwing tampons at my head. They were my tampons, falling one by one out of my unzipped bag. FML

#4212486 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (6460)

On 08/01/2009 at 7:13pm - misc - by Rachel247 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my Dad sent me an e-mail wishing me a "Happy 21st Birthday, sweetheart!" The message went on and on about how much he loves and misses me and wishes we were closer, and can't believe how fast I'm growing up. I'm 23 and my birthday is in December. FML

#4203551 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (39604) - you deserved it (1585)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States