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melody309

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melody309

16Fucked!

melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4425
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, Harry Potter, Pokémon, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:11am<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 9:20am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:09am<b>fiftycarrots</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Dave_Davington</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:14am<b>Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:22pm<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:50pm<b>j_luisa</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 12:00pm<b>GoldCyclone</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 9:18pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 11:29pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 1:41pm<b>emmy165</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:21pm<b>stieglar</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 8:06pm<b>zjay</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:15pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 11:28pm<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:55pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 6:06am

Fucked!<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:08am<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:20pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:09pm<b>fiftycarrots</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:04am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:41pm<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:22am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:06am<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:18am<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

melody309's FML badges

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melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44605) - you deserved it (5345)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (3418)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40907) - you deserved it (22759)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43182) - you deserved it (2916)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (3493)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

#20961774
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34524) - you deserved it (3793)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by kb (woman) - United States

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43248) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54005) - you deserved it (5642)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46629) - you deserved it (4269)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

#20943397
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45054) - you deserved it (8018)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:34am - animals - by katchoo (woman) - Denmark

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39551) - you deserved it (3504)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39841) - you deserved it (11605)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44677) - you deserved it (9288)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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