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melody309

Offline (the 11/22/2014 at 7:05pm) | Search for a member

melody309

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2033
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi, I like cupcakes, and sometimes the FML community scares me too much to comment on anything.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:12am<b>hordriss</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:28am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:48am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:29pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:46am<b>vordhosbn</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:58pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:37pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:17pm<b>redheadedmonster</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:42am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:39pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:29pm<b>jcast0627</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:05pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:21pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:53pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:29pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 7:44pm

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

melody309's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39076) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59309) - you deserved it (5428)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually had to explain to two of my friends that neither Alaska nor Nebraska are in Canada. I think I need new friends. FML

#20827400
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41736) - you deserved it (4922)

On 08/08/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by ROBERT (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45803) - you deserved it (8961)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38296) - you deserved it (6344)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56820) - you deserved it (5521)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44547) - you deserved it (9616)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46708) - you deserved it (3910)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

#20806007
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47160) - you deserved it (3747)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:26am - misc - by kilamo80 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (3798)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband managed to set fire to half of our garden setting up mosquito repellents. FML

#20802186
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (3008)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:10am - misc - by how (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, one of my bosses said, "You're going to take this as an insult, but it's not. At a certain age, women are supposed to cut their hair short." I have long hair. My bosses have all of the social skills of the guys from Big Bang Theory. FML

#20798680
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you deserved it (3339)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:23am - work - by Irreverend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

#20796495
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47603) - you deserved it (3675)

On 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by sabrinatarmine_ - United States (California)



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