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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5018
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, Harry Potter, Pokémon, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>lostfaithinpppl</b> - 19 hours ago<b>holymacabre</b> - yesterday at 7:45pm<b>blackfire20</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:37am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 1:30pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 6:28am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 4:45pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 8:16am<b>khrystwiztidkid</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:59pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 3:47pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 3:09pm<b>thelove1lost</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 10:28pm<b>say_what2032</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 7:14am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:11am<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 9:20am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:09am<b>fiftycarrots</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Dave_Davington</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 5:14am

Fucked!<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 7:30pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 1:43am<b>khoov19</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 2:46pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:08am<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 3:20pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 2:09pm<b>fiftycarrots</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:04am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 7:41pm<b>columbusthecat</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:22am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:06am<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:18am<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am

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melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (68629) - you deserved it (8595)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47893) - you deserved it (3771)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (66217) - you deserved it (6063)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling horny, so I told my boyfriend, who lives 30 minutes away, that "I really needed him". He replied, "Did you fall in the toilet again?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (53083) - you deserved it (12089)

On 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by that girl (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39798) - you deserved it (12899)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21121) - you deserved it (46584)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML


I agree, your life sucks (47168) - you deserved it (5726)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49320) - you deserved it (9095)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40781) - you deserved it (5861)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46512) - you deserved it (4325)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML


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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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