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melody309

Offline (the 07/03/2014 at 7:37pm) | Search for a member

melody309

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1229
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi, I like cupcakes, and sometimes the FML community scares me too much to comment on anything.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:32am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:50am<b>meanmuffin</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Kamon97</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:26am<b>killthedead</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:36am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:03pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:54am<b>Imsoswaq</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Owlfarm612</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:29pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:43pm<b>hokie16</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:51pm<b>olpally</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:58pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:25pm<b>leaves_me_a_mess</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 7:50pm<b>rapunzel3416</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:30pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 10:23pm<b>SuckMeBeautifu1</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 3:02am

melody309's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my bosses said, "You're going to take this as an insult, but it's not. At a certain age, women are supposed to cut their hair short." I have long hair. My bosses have all of the social skills of the guys from Big Bang Theory. FML

#20798680
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36827) - you deserved it (3268)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:23am - work - by Irreverend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to wake my mom up. While she was naked. On the toilet. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

#20796495
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47022) - you deserved it (3627)

On 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by sabrinatarmine_ - United States (California)

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

#20795568
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46179) - you deserved it (3789)

On 07/21/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Ghostly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (9005)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

#20786059
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44968) - you deserved it (13341)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35346) - you deserved it (6803)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41842) - you deserved it (3641)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50720) - you deserved it (6460)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55495) - you deserved it (4329)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46739) - you deserved it (13175)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I let my 3-year-old daughter watch Finding Nemo on my phone while I made her lunch. I returned to find she had dropped my phone into the fish bowl so that her goldfish could see his friends. FML

#20776430
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46235) - you deserved it (17028)

On 07/11/2013 at 7:13pm - kids - by thanks, Nemo. - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52335) - you deserved it (9085)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (4797)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

#20754226
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40187) - you deserved it (2371)

On 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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