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melody309

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

melody309

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2256
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi, I like cupcakes, and sometimes the FML community scares me too much to comment on anything.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>bigjake</b> - yesterday at 1:03am<b>Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:12am<b>hordriss</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:28am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:48am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 11:29pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:46am<b>vordhosbn</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:58pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:37pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:17pm<b>redheadedmonster</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:46pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 7:42am<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 6:07am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 1:39pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:29pm<b>jcast0627</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:05pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 8:21pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:53pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:29pm

Liked!<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

melody309's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46843) - you deserved it (6532)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

#20921961
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39292) - you deserved it (2823)

On 10/15/2013 at 8:38pm - health - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38641) - you deserved it (3139)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (6342)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53664) - you deserved it (4231)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40342) - you deserved it (24559)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34604) - you deserved it (2766)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

#20900504
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (2470)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

#20898877
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36937) - you deserved it (4417)

On 09/28/2013 at 6:53am - misc - by blackcat37 - United States (Missouri)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48818) - you deserved it (6384)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (2958)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (3093)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38819) - you deserved it (2978)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38601) - you deserved it (4289)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



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