About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, Harry Potter, Pokémon, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.
melody309's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
melody309's favorite FMLs
Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML
by morgie96 / 08/19/2014 at 12:11am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by jake / 08/12/2014 at 6:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 4:56am / Malawi / Miscellaneous
Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML
by We raised that fool / 08/06/2014 at 9:21am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by scared / 08/03/2014 at 8:47pm / Canada / Transportation
by Ljiljka / 08/01/2014 at 10:37am / Serbia / Miscellaneous
by anonyme / 07/30/2014 at 2:51am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous
by fatty magoo / 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by oh my fucking god / 07/10/2014 at 9:34am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML
by doubleCoupon / 06/24/2014 at 2:38pm / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…
- Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the… Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing… Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just…