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melody309

Offline (the 07/03/2014 at 7:37pm) | Search for a member

melody309

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1226
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi, I like cupcakes, and sometimes the FML community scares me too much to comment on anything.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:32am<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:50am<b>meanmuffin</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Kamon97</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:26am<b>killthedead</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:36am<b>illegalbeagle69</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 3:03pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:54am<b>Imsoswaq</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 10:58pm<b>Owlfarm612</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:29pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:43pm<b>hokie16</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 1:51pm<b>olpally</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:58pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 11:25pm<b>leaves_me_a_mess</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 7:50pm<b>rapunzel3416</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 5:30pm<b>konstantinos616</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 10:23pm<b>SuckMeBeautifu1</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 3:02am

melody309's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14837) - you deserved it (27212)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38736) - you deserved it (3285)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

#20462136
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (3821)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by WTF (man) -

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36425) - you deserved it (2588)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

#20453308
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39242) - you deserved it (6372)

On 01/11/2013 at 6:36am - love - by GiraffeLover - Australia

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32367) - you deserved it (8760)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31096) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28900) - you deserved it (5674)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35048) - you deserved it (5537)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20360) - you deserved it (1576)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17636) - you deserved it (1992)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26335) - you deserved it (3815)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20296) - you deserved it (5141)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

#18837069
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (7919)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States



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