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melody309

Offline (the 05/02/2015 at 5:54pm) | Search for a member

melody309

10Fucked!

melody309melody309
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3496
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melody309 : Hi! I'm just a college student trying to find her way in the world without drowning in debt. My favorite things in the world are baking, music, All Time Low, psychology, my cat, my family, and my boyfriend. Sometimes I like to dance around my room like I'm 14 and pretend my hair brush is a microphone, and I'm not ashamed.

melody309's page activity

Visits<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Whaleyfish</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 2:30am<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:28pm<b>MechanicKayla</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:02pm<b>CheyMiichelle</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:52am<b>Metashock</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:07pm<b>stieglar</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:38am<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:35pm<b>BoundBySpace</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:27pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 7:12pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 2:16am<b>drummerboy25</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:48pm<b>rachh6421</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 4:45pm<b>ilikewafles</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:22pm<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 11:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:14pm<b>AlyssaDiannaa</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:18am

Fucked!<b>bdsmslave</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 11:28pm<b>Xx_ISeeStara_xD</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:06am<b>Chickenlips21</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:35pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:18am<b>hahahehehe</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 12:51pm<b>shitcreeksurvr</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 7:53pm<b>DestinyNiya</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:29am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 4:29am

melody309's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of melody309's badges

melody309's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

#20662282
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66003) - you deserved it (5170)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49445) - you deserved it (5285)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47071) - you deserved it (6263)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64876) - you deserved it (5969)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47728) - you deserved it (6354)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67533) - you deserved it (9932)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53371) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37954) - you deserved it (3167)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50003) - you deserved it (4710)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML

#20623837
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41793) - you deserved it (5861)

On 04/26/2013 at 8:21pm - kids - by Shitty genes, no two ways about it. (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53584) - you deserved it (8663)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36963) - you deserved it (4182)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

#20592650
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (50123)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Cupcakes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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