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melliemoo17's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/31/2011 at 10:23am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
by Scarlett / 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by wtfisthisworldcomingto / 04/25/2011 at 8:11am / Miscellaneous
by nightDREAMERms / 04/23/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML
by mommylovesu / 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
by Jake / 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML
by ditched?? / 08/06/2010 at 5:05am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 7:49am / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML
by unicorn / 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…