melkymac101

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Offline (the 06/16/2016 at 4:24am)

melkymac101

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3878
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About melkymac101 : Enjoy reading about everyone elses problems. Haha. For real though I feel bad for u guys. I mean like the crap you guys go through is just ridiculous. But anyway I'm in love with Josh Hutcherson. We're getting married soon

melkymac101's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 11:57am<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 4:47pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:04am<b>samrompain</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:44pm<b>quazimozart</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:56pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Jackek</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 6:27pm<b>tismejofes</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Powerriot</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:49pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:20pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:57pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:51am<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:26pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:45pm<b>ILoveMyIpad1234</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:25am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:21pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:57pm

melkymac101's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of melkymac101's badges

melkymac101's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

by Frozen / 03/10/2014 at 10:23am / United States / Work

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

by onepussytwopussy / 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm / Australia / Love

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

by aarong / 02/10/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

by Subliminal message / 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm / Switzerland / Intimacy

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids