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melkymac101

Offline (the 07/13/2015 at 8:43pm) | Search for a member

melkymac101

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 December 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2460
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About melkymac101 : Enjoy reading about everyone elses problems. Haha. For real though I feel bad for u guys. I mean like the crap you guys go through is just ridiculous. But anyway I'm in love with Josh Hutcherson. We're getting married soon

melkymac101's page activity

Visits<b>Powerriot</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:49pm<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Stripes12345</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 5:20pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:57pm<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:51am<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:26pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:45pm<b>ILoveMyIpad1234</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:25am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:21pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 12:28am<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 10:37pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:01pm<b>tbbra12</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:34am<b>groybal43</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 2:19pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:10am<b>SeriouslyScared</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 9:05pm<b>valentinov</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 6:02pm

melkymac101's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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melkymac101's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38076) - you deserved it (5537)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

#21083045
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39186) - you deserved it (3667)

On 03/10/2014 at 10:23am - work - by Frozen (man) - United States

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42736) - you deserved it (4280)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45817) - you deserved it (24202)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61513) - you deserved it (4567)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42931) - you deserved it (7480)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41129) - you deserved it (22571)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50915) - you deserved it (7921)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58778) - you deserved it (5212)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53848) - you deserved it (32607)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

#21024822
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61935) - you deserved it (8397)

On 01/11/2014 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (35281)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62272) - you deserved it (27053)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45287) - you deserved it (23573)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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