Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

melkymac101

Offline (the 11/19/2014 at 4:44am) | Search for a member

melkymac101

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 December 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1177
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About melkymac101 : Enjoy reading about everyone elses problems. Haha. For real though I feel bad for u guys. I mean like the crap you guys go through is just ridiculous. But anyway I'm in love with Josh Hutcherson. We're getting married soon

melkymac101's page activity

Visits<b>CloudBustah</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 7:51am<b>sammy1021</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:21am<b>Patty410</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:26pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 5:45pm<b>ILoveMyIpad1234</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:25am<b>myoukei</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 12:45pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:21pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 12:28am<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 10:37pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:01pm<b>tbbra12</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:34am<b>groybal43</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 2:19pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 11:10am<b>SeriouslyScared</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 9:05pm<b>valentinov</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 6:02pm<b>rawlings123</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 11:21pm<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 4:49pm<b>lexip1003</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 4:44pm

melkymac101's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of melkymac101's badges

melkymac101's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52013) - you deserved it (6555)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52786) - you deserved it (5546)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37922) - you deserved it (5520)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

#21083045
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39026) - you deserved it (3656)

On 03/10/2014 at 10:23am - work - by Frozen (man) - United States

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (4264)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43680) - you deserved it (22934)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was in my Honors English class. I sneezed very loudly while my teacher was giving a lecture. I had the genius idea to say, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit." FML

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60497) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I found my daughter's "sex songs" playlist. I was more disappointed by her poor taste in music than the fact that she is already sexually active. FML

#21056009
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41244) - you deserved it (7243)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by aarong (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40858) - you deserved it (22459)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48461) - you deserved it (7548)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58518) - you deserved it (5188)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: