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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20476) - you deserved it (1753)
On 11/30/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by NeedHeadPhone (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as a walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (6315)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by fartlover (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7677) - you deserved it (25978)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31410) - you deserved it (1937)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17349) - you deserved it (4715)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8621) - you deserved it (65351)
On 06/27/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by mtorres8789 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46958) - you deserved it (58510)
On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling really down. So I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31890) - you deserved it (50112)
On 05/25/2009 at 1:39am - love - by downer (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8454) - you deserved it (34478)
On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, two of my cousins sat me down and said they wanted to give me an early Birthday present. With straight faces, they look at me and say: "we signed you up for eHarmony, and paid for 12 months." Not only do my cousins think I need help finding a boyfriend, but they think it take a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41843) - you deserved it (3935)
On 05/18/2009 at 4:43pm - love - by imnotTHATlonely (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10643) - you deserved it (197040)
On 05/09/2009 at 12:43am - work - by pizzagurl (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36132) - you deserved it (13894)
On 04/23/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77774) - you deserved it (7563)
On 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm - work - by mrWrong (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have atleast combed it!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (56431) - you deserved it (4287)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by Rai (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (116505) - you deserved it (11517)
On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 17 June 2013
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