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melissaxo3

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melissaxo3

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  • Number of visits : 413
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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melissaxo3's page activity

Visits<b>music8484</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 7:02pm

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melissaxo3's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

#14281367
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (6156)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML

#14256786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13843) - you deserved it (21597)

On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27034) - you deserved it (3392)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (29130)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

#12650265
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (3876)

On 08/20/2010 at 7:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36387) - you deserved it (3897)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML

#11794777
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44642) - you deserved it (3977)

On 07/10/2010 at 4:05pm - love - by thanksalot - United States

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

#9117281
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9078) - you deserved it (35449)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:27pm - misc - by hiii. (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (12867)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

#7728749
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (6095)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Becca (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML

#7541135
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39727) - you deserved it (3110)

On 01/24/2010 at 9:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I hear "Hey, ugly's back again." FML

#7426136
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (2582)

On 01/18/2010 at 8:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how concerned she was about her weight. I told her not to worry, because it gives more cushion for the pushin' anyway. She picked up a lamp and threw it right at my dingleberries. FML

#6679644
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (67896)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:09pm - love - by ouch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

#6635616
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (9502)

On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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