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melissasmith91

Offline (the 01/12/2016 at 4:06am) | Search for a member

melissasmith91

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 516
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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melissasmith91's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of melissasmith91's badges

melissasmith91's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my customers told me he was going to kill himself when I explained to him that I wasn't going to be able to deliver him the gallon of milk he wanted. I work in a pharmacy, dispensing medication. FML

#21511580
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19380) - you deserved it (1168)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:27pm - work - by HeatherFeatherB (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my 30th birthday. My husband came home with a big case of beer for himself, then told me he didn't have time to get me a present because of work. FML

#21494372
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23907) - you deserved it (1862)

On 11/19/2015 at 9:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (3524)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31923) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43066) - you deserved it (13788)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38898) - you deserved it (4877)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (13446)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45852) - you deserved it (9211)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44864) - you deserved it (10807)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55139) - you deserved it (11234)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55981) - you deserved it (7619)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43584) - you deserved it (5154)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44196) - you deserved it (7409)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39272) - you deserved it (26766)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my dog while hiking. After searching the trails for an hour and a half, he was by the car. FML



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