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melissa1983

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melissa1983

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 April 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2280
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melissa1983 : To be filled out later

melissa1983's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:33pm<b>jisaac09</b> - the 01/11/2010 at 8:30pm<b>Feverrotes</b> - the 01/09/2010 at 6:14pm<b>nihilanth</b> - the 01/09/2010 at 6:03pm

melissa1983's FML badges

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melissa1983's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

#14033332
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25268) - you deserved it (2844)

On 11/30/2010 at 3:48am - intimacy - by Jack -

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31870) - you deserved it (10591)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML

#13961412
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24991) - you deserved it (9478)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36836) - you deserved it (5035)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

#12463713
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15074) - you deserved it (39276)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He is the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

#12438405
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (7790)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by verno02 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML

#12405087
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33873) - you deserved it (3755)

On 08/09/2010 at 3:07am - intimacy - by hard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

#12361153
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27713) - you deserved it (16611)

On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I met my boyfriend's extended family. His grandpa was apparently senile, as he kept calling me "Tilly" and asking me to dance. His relatives thought this hilarious and busted out the video camera. Later, I learned his grandpa is not senile at all - the family was playing a joke on me. FML

#8968601
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (3467)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:54am - love - by NotTilly (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19837) - you deserved it (2301)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

#8938821
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18443) - you deserved it (18541)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:43am - love - by anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19445) - you deserved it (6004)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26104) - you deserved it (1613)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8603) - you deserved it (32290)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML

#8891983
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18767) - you deserved it (4964)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by ohshit (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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