Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

melcat

Search for a member

melcat

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1645
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melcat : If you're reading this, congratulations.

Lurk more, comment less.

melcat's page activity

Visits<b>MsRenoldsEA</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:20am<b>bradix1186</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 4:58pm<b>crazyhomelessman</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:06am<b>scfann11</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:21am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 6:29am<b>sadlarry</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 12:03pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 5:57pm<b>ayazdgrade</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:37pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:51pm<b>Juneyah1017</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 12:31pm<b>Moota</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 11:12pm<b>CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:50am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 3:08pm<b>mybarra6</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:14pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 9:25pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 8:19pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:14pm<b>lstrawberrycake</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 7:46pm

melcat's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of melcat's badges

melcat's favorite FMLs

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

#17494205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (14032)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm - misc - by otter - United States (Washington)

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

#17494205
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (14032)

On 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm - misc - by otter - United States (Washington)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26343) - you deserved it (9378)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML

#17424744
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32512) - you deserved it (9060)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:46am - health - by auntoftheyear - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (7156)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35437) - you deserved it (5491)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

#17029350
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (20100)

On 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Joe - United States

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

#16939716
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35716) - you deserved it (9831)

On 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by NYMTS - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8935) - you deserved it (58044)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realised I'm sitting at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

#16718637
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (9416)

On 06/17/2011 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

#16512093
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51525) - you deserved it (7463)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37545) - you deserved it (5201)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

#16286045
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8885) - you deserved it (58797)

On 05/21/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by aridaley - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37810) - you deserved it (10282)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

#15904630
378 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48951) - you deserved it (8796)

On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: