melcat

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melcat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3777
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melcat : If you're reading this, congratulations.

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melcat's page activity

Visits<b>AugustStonex</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:45am<b>MsRenoldsEA</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:20am<b>bradix1186</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 4:58pm<b>crazyhomelessman</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:06am<b>scfann11</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:21am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 6:29am<b>sadlarry</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 12:03pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 5:57pm<b>ayazdgrade</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:37pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:51pm<b>Juneyah1017</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 12:31pm<b>Moota</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 11:12pm<b>CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:50am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 3:08pm<b>mybarra6</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:14pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 9:25pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 8:19pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:14pm

melcat's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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melcat's favorite FMLs

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

by creepyeyes / 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML

by Slash / 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

by fuckspellcheck / 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

by vinniesuckmadack / 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

by maconda99 / 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML

by Lolrus / 03/28/2009 at 12:50pm / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

by thisreallysucks2 / 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

by Mason_Jayson / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous