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melcat

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melcat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1477
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>MsRenoldsEA</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:20am<b>bradix1186</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 4:58pm<b>crazyhomelessman</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:06am<b>scfann11</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:21am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 6:29am<b>sadlarry</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 12:03pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 5:57pm<b>ayazdgrade</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:37pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:51pm<b>Juneyah1017</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 12:31pm<b>Moota</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 11:12pm<b>CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:50am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 3:08pm<b>mybarra6</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:14pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 9:25pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 8:19pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:14pm<b>lstrawberrycake</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 7:46pm

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melcat's favorite FMLs

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (3737)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11895) - you deserved it (28031)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (2918)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14909) - you deserved it (31138)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (6370)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18793) - you deserved it (1521)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29668) - you deserved it (4515)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74903) - you deserved it (8768)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (3452)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30603) - you deserved it (6423)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (6918)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (2967)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27212) - you deserved it (3671)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

#20029320
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (3745)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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