melcat

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melcat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3596
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About melcat : If you're reading this, congratulations.

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melcat's page activity

Visits<b>AugustStonex</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 12:45am<b>MsRenoldsEA</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:20am<b>bradix1186</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 4:58pm<b>crazyhomelessman</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:06am<b>scfann11</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 1:21am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 6:29am<b>sadlarry</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 12:03pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 5:57pm<b>ayazdgrade</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:37pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:51pm<b>Juneyah1017</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 12:31pm<b>Moota</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 11:12pm<b>CH1CKEN_FL1PPEN</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 4:50am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 3:08pm<b>mybarra6</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 10:14pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 9:25pm<b>jeffandjeff</b> - the 04/23/2013 at 8:19pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 6:14pm

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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melcat's favorite FMLs

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

by JessThompson / 12/05/2012 at 11:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

by karmaquestionmark / 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

by pheebs314 / 11/07/2012 at 4:16pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

by Squid / 11/07/2012 at 12:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

by CircusSea / 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm / Puerto Rico / Work

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

by kira / 10/02/2012 at 6:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

by PuddlePirate / 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous