melanie177

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melanie177

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 May 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6131
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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melanie177's page activity

Visits<b>racerboy102</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 2:00pm<b>Bonngoo</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:42am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 4:51am<b>The12thPaladin</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 8:42am<b>ExpectNeo</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:16am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 7:41pm<b>Kyle17206</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 3:08pm<b>shay72014</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:45am<b>citrusglass</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 11:21am<b>Giggidypope</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:33am<b>darksinner</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 4:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:15am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:32am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:26am<b>thecman25</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 5:21pm<b>FunnyDude1215</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 2:46am<b>shtoof</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 6:41am<b>vanessa_tranz</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:00pm

melanie177's FML badges

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melanie177's favorite FMLs

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML

by pdnne / 05/12/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was at a family get together with distant relatives. My grandma made a point to say how all of the grandkids brought their boyfriends or girlfriends. She looks at me, then turns to everyone and says "But not our Becky! She is more interested in her cats right now than finding a man." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2009 at 11:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML

by Mikey / 04/28/2009 at 2:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

by Radgirl / 04/27/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

by tara22 / 04/27/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to meet my grandparents. They live on the 27th floor. Alone in the elevator we started making out. Turns out that theres a camera in the elevator, connected to every apartment. My grandma asked me how it was. FML

by fmylifechelsea / 04/27/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was studying for a midterm, so I put my computer on the side of my desk to make more room for my books. My roommate came in while I wasn't paying attention and tackle-hugged me from behind - I fell over, knocking my computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML

by avanti / 04/24/2009 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was studying for a midterm, so I put my computer on the side of my desk to make more room for my books. My roommate came in while I wasn't paying attention and tackle-hugged me from behind - I fell over, knocking my computer out the window. I live on the 8th floor. FML

by avanti / 04/24/2009 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

by DBR / 04/23/2009 at 6:45am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I work for the local fire department. I had a long call and I was hot and sweaty. I decided to skinny dip in my pool because it was still dark out. Everything went great untill my flood light went on and my dad ran out with a bat. I got smacked in the side with a baseball bat. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2009 at 5:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2009 at 5:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

by herANDi / 04/03/2009 at 2:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Love