About megzzze :
About megzzze :
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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
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megzzze's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML
by bruisedego31 / 09/12/2012 at 5:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by MsConfusedd / 09/01/2012 at 12:30am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
by AngerManagement / 09/29/2011 at 4:04am / United Kingdom / Work
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML
by Anonyme / 06/17/2011 at 9:25pm / Switzerland (Fribourg) / Love
by nrelavender / 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
by BurnedByAWaiter / 05/24/2011 at 9:59am / Miscellaneous
by nohair / 04/24/2011 at 10:06am / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
by FistFighter / 04/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Health
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 3:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 10:35am / Romania (Cluj) / Intimacy
Today, I got a flat tire on the highway. If that wasn't bad enough I had no spare in the car. By the time I got a ride to get a new tire, someone was nice enough to fix my air conditioning for me. They smashed out my window to break in. The doors were not locked. FML
by Gearhead369 / 10/03/2010 at 12:39am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Transportation
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…