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meghannorwood

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meghannorwood

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 126
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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meghannorwood's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML

#20198660
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (1540)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:01am - misc - by Alec (man) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old brother told me he needed help with something "very personal." Thinking he wanted girlfriend advice or something, I said, "Sure, no problem". He wanted me to shave his butt crack. FML

#19700460
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24073) - you deserved it (2279)

On 05/29/2012 at 6:40pm - kids - by liquid_sasquatch - United States

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

#19600497
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (2546)

On 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm - misc - by I Don't Exorcise - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML

#19039141
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31036) - you deserved it (6444)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML

#18853779
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (7719)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:19pm - health - by ohforcheese - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because I'm too "high maintenance" during the holidays. Not to worry, though; he's willing give me another chance sometime after Valentine's day. FML

#18598944
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (5703)

On 12/24/2011 at 2:42pm - love - by Skyhopee - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11017) - you deserved it (87484)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (4279)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31140) - you deserved it (5261)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48103) - you deserved it (2391)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54661) - you deserved it (9321)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31325) - you deserved it (2869)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a phone call from my high school bully, to remind me that he'll always be able to find me and do whatever he wants to me. He does this every year. I turn 34 today. FML

#17012107
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41928) - you deserved it (6361)

On 07/07/2011 at 8:19am - misc - by Snurkles (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

#16977432
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (5850)

On 07/04/2011 at 8:25pm - misc - by brittbrat4 - United States



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