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megapeyt

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megapeyt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2042
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About megapeyt : I read FML for lack of a better thing to do in my spare time. Lotta comments but have yet to get an FML through the mods (CURSE YOU ALL!!!)

Most of the time I'm more looking for a decent pun I can use at an appropriate time later in my day

Imagine a world; where everything is said via puns...

Now if someone would kindly get the Mods to let me get an FML through, that'd be greaaaat, mmmmmmk?

megapeyt's page activity

Visits<b>Maria_BVB_Army</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:19am<b>RicanDucky</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:03am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:30pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:20pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:37pm<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:08pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:11am<b>tyoung94</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:17am<b>trencher97</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:33pm<b>ladystate</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:26pm<b>dementxrs</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:58pm<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:28am<b>BrownBallSack</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 9:04pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 12:08am<b>soccerstar1996</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 2:21pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:44pm

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megapeyt's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65084) - you deserved it (6625)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116362) - you deserved it (5493)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML

#2161329
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31106) - you deserved it (7560)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)

Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML

#2110386
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42301) - you deserved it (13625)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

#1873623
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69633) - you deserved it (12999)

On 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

#1868232
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48911) - you deserved it (5924)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:16am - animals - by babyboomerang (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

#1751733
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52263) - you deserved it (12131)

On 05/08/2009 at 5:07pm - misc - by gangstalicious - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

#1652768
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14997) - you deserved it (91338)

On 05/05/2009 at 1:43am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

#1631197
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25723) - you deserved it (69783)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33115) - you deserved it (96519)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53768) - you deserved it (311440)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML

#232857
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23663) - you deserved it (150387)

On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17205) - you deserved it (112883)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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