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megapeyt

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megapeyt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1979
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About megapeyt : I read FML for lack of a better thing to do in my spare time. Lotta comments but have yet to get an FML through the mods (CURSE YOU ALL!!!)

Most of the time I'm more looking for a decent pun I can use at an appropriate time later in my day

Imagine a world; where everything is said via puns...

Now if someone would kindly get the Mods to let me get an FML through, that'd be greaaaat, mmmmmmk?

megapeyt's page activity

Visits<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:20pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 2:37pm<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:08pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 2:11am<b>tyoung94</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:17am<b>trencher97</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 4:33pm<b>ladystate</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:26pm<b>dementxrs</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 11:58pm<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:28am<b>BrownBallSack</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 9:04pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:43am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 12:08am<b>soccerstar1996</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 2:21pm<b>bitch_plz</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 4:44pm<b>hottay7164</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 8:05am<b>ViennaJessica</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 1:36am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 12:00pm

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megapeyt's favorite FMLs

Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

#17728264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (2503)

On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States

Today, I had to spend the morning and afternoon waiting for my uncle to take a crap after his hernia surgery. It never happened, and in the end I drove home, only to find the highway just as backed up as my uncle's colon. FML

#17697581
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17973) - you deserved it (2537)

On 09/08/2011 at 4:47pm - health - by wilmerjean - United States

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30089) - you deserved it (2502)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35590) - you deserved it (9333)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10663) - you deserved it (39796)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

#17647973
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19154) - you deserved it (4550)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

#17635803
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (4377)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by djfail - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

#17634820
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33055) - you deserved it (2499)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by WhatTheFaf (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29647) - you deserved it (2857)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (2414)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

#17547358
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (4418)

On 08/22/2011 at 11:58am - misc - by socialdisease - United States (New York)

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (4438)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

#17224016
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26826) - you deserved it (4356)

On 07/23/2011 at 12:05am - kids - by oliveoyl (woman) - United States (California)



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