megapeyt

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Offline (the 11/04/2014 at 2:11pm)

megapeyt

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3671
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About megapeyt : I read FML for lack of a better thing to do in my spare time. Lotta comments but have yet to get an FML through the mods (CURSE YOU ALL!!!)

Most of the time I'm more looking for a decent pun I can use at an appropriate time later in my day

Imagine a world; where everything is said via puns...

Now if someone would kindly get the Mods to let me get an FML through, that'd be greaaaat, mmmmmmk?

megapeyt's page activity

Visits<b>AHzulu</b> - 9 hours ago<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 4:40pm<b>am1717</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 1:01am<b>bloodyhello</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 1:32pm<b>AWildNoeAppeared</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 9:59am<b>fluxnflow</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:26pm<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:46pm<b>nandu1992</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 6:11am<b>Coltonomore</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 3:42pm<b>marydrunasky23</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:48pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 6:09pm<b>Tournesol143</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:50pm<b>sh07</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 12:16am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:05am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:03pm<b>Littlest_things</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 1:20pm<b>failalltheway</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 8:33pm<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:12am

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - 3 hours ago

megapeyt's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of megapeyt's badges

megapeyt's favorite FMLs

Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

by pea / 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm / United States / Work

Today, I had to spend the morning and afternoon waiting for my uncle to take a crap after his hernia surgery. It never happened, and in the end I drove home, only to find the highway just as backed up as my uncle's colon. FML

by wilmerjean / 09/08/2011 at 4:47pm / United States / Health

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

by -- / 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

by Gurior / 09/04/2011 at 3:01am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

by Actor / 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML

by djfail / 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

by WhatTheFaf / 09/01/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

by socialdisease / 08/22/2011 at 11:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

by oliveoyl / 07/23/2011 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Kids