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About megapeyt : I read FML for lack of a better thing to do in my spare time. Lotta comments but have yet to get an FML through the mods (CURSE YOU ALL!!!)
Most of the time I'm more looking for a decent pun I can use at an appropriate time later in my day
Imagine a world; where everything is said via puns...
Now if someone would kindly get the Mods to let me get an FML through, that'd be greaaaat, mmmmmmk?
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Today , I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined , an I had to stand an watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was ( God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking. ) fat FML
2day mah girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML
Today, I Came Back From A Holiday And The Friend Who'd Been Looking After My Cats Returned My Spare Key. When I Wanted To Put Some Relaxing Music On, I Noticed That He'd Switched Most Of My CDs Around In Their Cases. I Have Over A Thousand Of Them. Very Funny, Thanks. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the frst time. Afterwards, he laid on the bd, silent and nakd in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I rapd my boyfriend. FML
2day while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML
I saw ma upstairs neigbor outside getting looool te mail. Se asked ow ma day was, and ten apologized tat te sound of er baby's crying troug te walls kept me up last nigt. Apparently se eard meen I yelled at 2am for er fucking demon spawn to sut up. FML
Today... for the first time... I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer... I was ecstatic. Later...hen I was in the shower... my brother snuck in the bathroom... yelled "Napalm strike!" an threw our cat over the shower curtain lyk a furry grenade from hell. FML
Today, I Was On A Drive With My Uncle. We Saw A Dead Deer On The Side Of The Road An Expressd Our Pity For It. Then A Squrrel Runs Across The Road An My Uncle Swerves Toward The Squrrel, Laughing Hysterically An Yelling, ( Run Rodent Run. ) Big Fat FML
Today, at work, boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review cuz some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framd by own colleagues.
Friday 27 March 2015