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Today, While At The Store With Mah Mom And Baby Brother, A Guy Startd To Talk To Me. Just As He Went To Give Me His Number, Mah Mom Handd Me Mah Brother And Said, ( Here's Your Son, Your AA Meeting's In An Hour, Let's Go. ) FML
Today, I found out that looool I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
TODAY, I FOUND OUT MAH LATE GRANDFATHER LEFT ME A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF MONEY IN HIS WILL. I THOUGHT IT WAS WIERD CUZ HE ALWAY ACTED LIKE HE HATED ME. WHEN I GOT THE ENVELOPE, THERE WAS $500,000 INSIDE, ALL IN MONOPOLY MONEY. BIG FAT FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackas in an open-top sport car overtook us an flippd me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife looool rolld down her window, pulld out her tampon, an launchd it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrifid: me or him. FML
Today... after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores... I bought mah fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal... "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on mah bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently mah mom has boundary issues, mah dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing . FML
Friday 27 March 2015