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Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7318) - you totally deserved it (35585)
On 06/21/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by TBaggins00 (man) - United States (Illilois)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you totally deserved it (8371)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43476) - you totally deserved it (9987)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by anonyme (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60782) - you totally deserved it (2873)
On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14138) - you totally deserved it (72590)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm - intimacy - by insideout (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16262) - you totally deserved it (51419)
On 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by ShamedJP (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately, she has a hood piercing that got caught on my tongue ring, and neither of us could get them apart. We had to call my mom in to solve the problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37886) - you totally deserved it (74456)
On 03/25/2009 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Unicron (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220633) - you totally deserved it (244459)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
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