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megamandude455

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megamandude455
  • Town/Country : Simi Valley, USA USA USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 March 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1065
  • Number of comments : 287
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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megamandude455's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940 (262)

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423 (43)

I agree, your life sucks (21569) - you deserved it (6059)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (4869) - you deserved it (27520)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (4341) - you deserved it (25774)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (6434) - you deserved it (42224)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was looking in my laundry basket for a clean tank top to wear. As I felt around, I realized that most of my clothes were still wet after two days. After asking my mom what was wrong with the dryer, I found out that for two days my cat had been using my laundry basket as a litter box. FML

#5243722 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (24223) - you deserved it (3280)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:20am - animals - by catpeecathy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML

#4949841 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (32374) - you deserved it (5008)

On 08/31/2009 at 8:44am - animals - by phlyingphuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML

#4781162 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (2566)

On 08/24/2009 at 9:38am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

#4438831 (281)

I agree, your life sucks (5971) - you deserved it (64944)

On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#4423387 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (46236) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my best friend out for a night in town, after he got dumped by his girlfriend recently. As we were walking around, we passed a group of hot women, a couple who were checking him out. Trying to be encouraging, I said "He's single!" and winked. One of the girls was his ex-girlfriend. FML

#4280491 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (6938)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15pm - love - by badbestfriend (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML

#4144889 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (14431) - you deserved it (33389)

On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a cafe and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed my arm and said 'I think that man is masturbating' and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

#2624268 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (50755) - you deserved it (2699)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:43am - intimacy - by MBG (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (49267) - you deserved it (5364)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was teaching my Chinese students spoken English when they got into a heated argument. When I finally got their attention, I told them to continue the argument in English. They were arguing over my bra size. They are all female teenagers. They then asked me to show them my bra. FML

#2301370 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (38941) - you deserved it (3954)

On 05/26/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)