meddude

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meddude

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 46052
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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meddude's page activity

Visits<b>mikki_arlert</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:16am<b>convive</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:10am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:04pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:35am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:30am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 10:33am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:06am<b>kaet</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:44am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:18pm<b>sexypvc24</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:42pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:13am<b>Allegretto</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:33pm<b>llalala</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:50am<b>stargazer091</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:08pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:06am<b>KristenLovecraft</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:12pm

Fucked!<b>sexypvc24</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:42am

meddude's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

meddude's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

by tool / 04/09/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

by BadBreath / 04/08/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

by poo_shoe123 / 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me "have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "you mean with other people?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 10:46am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML

by jdsksoapy / 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

by Spawn_of_Satan / 03/27/2009 at 11:18am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 9:05am / Austria (Vorarlberg) / Kids

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly : while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

by nessacadesa / 03/24/2009 at 12:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML

by Blondie / 03/23/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

by DSM / 03/14/2009 at 7:05am / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, I was walking to school and decided to be a good citizen by picking up a beer can on the sidewalk. I then walked on to my school's campus where I then got suspended by my dean for "trying to rebel", grounded by my parents for getting suspended, and an MIP from the school's police guard. FML

by fmlmylife / 03/11/2009 at 1:04am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous