meddude

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meddude

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 46208
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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meddude's page activity

Visits<b>mikki_arlert</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 3:16am<b>convive</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:10am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:04pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:35am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:22pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 1:30am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 10:33am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Nail7777</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:06am<b>kaet</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 10:44am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 6:18pm<b>sexypvc24</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 10:42pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 1:13am<b>Allegretto</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:33pm<b>llalala</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:50am<b>stargazer091</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 1:08pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:06am<b>KristenLovecraft</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:12pm

Fucked!<b>sexypvc24</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:42am

meddude's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

meddude's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2009 at 11:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

by Takuma / 05/20/2009 at 1:10am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

by Kens / 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

by Posty / 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML

by NotSoCool / 05/15/2009 at 12:41am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I went to the doctor. I had a spider bite that had been getting progressively larger for days. I had been putting Neosporin on underneath the bandage that was on it. The doctor saw my wound and laughed. He said the spider bite was no big deal, but that I was allergic to the Neosporin. FML

by Manatee / 05/11/2009 at 11:14am / United States (California) / Health

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work