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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9201) - you deserved it (32666)
On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at work at an office store. I was instructed to put together several tape-free cardboard boxes. I then realized that I can disassemble and reassemble a computer with my eyes closed and one hand behind my back, but I was outsmarted by a cardboard box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (5891)
On 05/21/2009 at 9:18pm - work - by StellarSapience (man) - United States (California)
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54604) - you deserved it (9938)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75277) - you deserved it (35501)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14021) - you deserved it (53968)
On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23792) - you deserved it (51226)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60957) - you deserved it (4806)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14748) - you deserved it (69517)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (75139)
On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (18942)
On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24547) - you deserved it (106500)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10179) - you deserved it (74879)
On 05/17/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (17143)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was pulling my trolley luggage at the airport when I passed 2 cute girls smiling at me. Thinking I looked real cool, I kept on walking without paying heed to anything else. Then my brother shouted asking me what was I doing, only to realise that the handle had come off a few metres back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (27491)
On 05/15/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by NotSoCool (man) - Singapore
Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (38231)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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