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meddude

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meddude
  • Town/Country : Chicago, U.S.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 44578
  • Number of comments : 225
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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meddude's favorite FMLs

Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#2854895
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46322) - you deserved it (4063)

On 06/13/2009 at 10:42am - kids - by Hackmanjones (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90636) - you deserved it (19051)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70137) - you deserved it (17109)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113668) - you deserved it (71758)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was finally going to Best Buy to get The Sims 3. I was so excited to get it that I ran to the back of the store to get it, and tripped over a little boy in the process, which made me stumble into a CD rack and knock it over. Which made the rest of the CD racks fall over like dominoes. FML

#2759845
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13950) - you deserved it (51194)

On 06/09/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by Sims3luver (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62671) - you deserved it (6500)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching a TV show about people with shopping addictions. One girl was $15,000 in debt and I thought how horrible it would be to live with that. Then I realized that I'm in medical school and currently $135,000 in debt. At least they have something to show for their debt. FML

#2691460
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40426) - you deserved it (6434)

On 06/07/2009 at 1:54pm - money - by DebtedToSociety (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63147) - you deserved it (7095)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9633) - you deserved it (37941)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work my arms were full. I needed to get the door open, so instead of pushing the swing door open with my shoulder, I kicked it open with my foot. Right into my manager's face. FML

#2647799
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32481) - you deserved it (10470)

On 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm - work - by hellogoodbye (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92817) - you deserved it (5728)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

#2565972
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44297) - you deserved it (14893)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15123) - you deserved it (43843)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

#2498639
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70187) - you deserved it (4844)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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