Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

meb123hazel

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

meb123hazel

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 507
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About meb123hazel : I'm a rower, science nerd, and on my way to becoming a doctor in the military

meb123hazel's page activity

Visits<b>Helen_1988</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:19pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:12am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:57am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:12pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 10:21am<b>sherbear78</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 2:27am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:07am<b>lickastick</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:52pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:15pm<b>kAPISH</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:48pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:15pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:49pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 4:52pm<b>supernatural_doc</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:29am<b>Leodak</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 11:42am<b>Jaybob98</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 4:04pm<b>TheAndrewJohnson</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 5:39am<b>anniesje</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:39pm

Liked!<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:45pm

meb123hazel's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of meb123hazel's badges

meb123hazel's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (81739)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12077) - you deserved it (24749)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML

#14105864
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11360) - you deserved it (19540)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I shadowed an ultrasound technician for my future career. She did an ultrasound on me to show me how to do the job. I found out I was pregnant. FML

#13863853
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47118) - you deserved it (11639)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by nicolette5785452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sucking on a Tic Tac. Just as I was starting to get into it, the Tic-Tac suddenly shot down my throat. After a minute of coughing and gagging, it came back up... out my left nostril. FML

#13652209
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (5510)

On 10/30/2010 at 5:28pm - health - by DeepTaccer (man) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was in lying in bed with my boyfriend while he was asleep. He is going to school to be a doctor, and it appears that he says anatomical terms while asleep. My boyfriend can make me feel stupid in his sleep. FML

#13580175
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13841) - you deserved it (22217)

On 10/24/2010 at 7:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (4467)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9995) - you deserved it (32977)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31064) - you deserved it (28077)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

#13005397
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37992) - you deserved it (9634)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34511) - you deserved it (22852)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

#12726164
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13496) - you deserved it (24166)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16788) - you deserved it (24976)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband left for a two-week trip. Last night he gave the dog a treat of steak fat and gristle. My treat? I am on bed rest with my pregnancy and helpless to stop the rancid dog farts that are silent and smell like a burning septic tank exploded. FML

Today, I came home to my boyfriend wearing one of my pads on his hand, because he didn't want to pay to go to the hospital for stitches. FML

#12022109
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27929) - you deserved it (3654)

On 07/21/2010 at 9:52am - health - by blank - United States



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: