Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

meb123hazel

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

meb123hazel

4Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 784
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About meb123hazel : I'm a rower, science nerd, and on my way to becoming a doctor in the military

meb123hazel's page activity

Visits<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 11:35pm<b>geri665</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 6:38am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 4:28am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:53pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 5:39am<b>Uniquemind</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 6:49pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:43pm<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:16am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:10am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 10:41pm<b>stonerboy15</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:10am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 8:13pm<b>xx_ginny</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:29am<b>Helen_1988</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:19pm<b>tj4234</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 11:12am<b>BBeffedmylife</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 9:57am<b>sherbear78</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 2:27am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:07am

Liked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:28am<b>Uniquemind</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 12:49am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:21am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:45pm

meb123hazel's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of meb123hazel's badges

meb123hazel's favorite FMLs

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29594) - you deserved it (5601)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6400) - you deserved it (48373)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

#18280377
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (3748)

On 11/18/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by southernpride93 - United States (Florida)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (7951)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

#18200720
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (3568)

On 11/09/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by blacktyaffair - United States (Texas)

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28245) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44939) - you deserved it (5041)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11955) - you deserved it (31110)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7845) - you deserved it (60654)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

#17620376
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (3457)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (5788)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

#17544940
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8177) - you deserved it (51626)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:43am - health - by heheheh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

#17458191
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9145) - you deserved it (35677)

On 08/13/2011 at 6:31am - kids - by Kathryn - Belgium



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: