Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

meatyorb

Search for a member

meatyorb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8307
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

meatyorb's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:10pm<b>GreekGoddessGirl</b> - the 06/11/2010 at 8:18pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/24/2010 at 1:52pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 03/10/2010 at 5:19am<b>perdix</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 5:17pm<b>omghehehe</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:27pm<b>lawlfyl</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 10:23am<b>sheeraz</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 9:08am<b>ilikesexyparties</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 6:16pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:14pm<b>surfbumm</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:59pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:57pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 12:36pm<b>eiji_chan</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 9:47pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:06pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:59pm<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:03pm<b>ha</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:31am

meatyorb's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

meatyorb's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79449) - you deserved it (4347)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79449) - you deserved it (4347)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79449) - you deserved it (4347)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

#1349405
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79449) - you deserved it (4347)

On 04/26/2009 at 8:35am - love - by shawty_x (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (85263)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95113) - you deserved it (38951)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165695) - you deserved it (8465)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

#864808
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8916) - you deserved it (60136)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91961) - you deserved it (27451)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26066) - you deserved it (47726)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

Today, I went to the doctor's office because my wife and I were having some fertilization problems. As I removed my pants, the doctor simply looked at my penis and said "mhm." My wife laughed the whole way home. FML

#814298
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71048) - you deserved it (4682)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:32am - health - by manlyman (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71081) - you deserved it (18407)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: