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meatyorb

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meatyorb
  • Town/Country : usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 7713
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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meatyorb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

#3007389
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11143) - you deserved it (57806)

On 06/18/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by AlexK (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I used a porta-potty. After I came out, my mom came out of one and said "I really wish I could wash my hands." I explained that I used the little soap bar that was on the side of the toilet in mine. She told me that was a urinal and the soap bar was a disinfectant bar. FML

#2903638
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13401) - you deserved it (52848)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by hockeyfanaticx87 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494
813 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113719) - you deserved it (71758)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (49744)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57976) - you deserved it (5766)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

#2300061
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (34594)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:39am - money - by lostcar (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML

#2295349
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14121) - you deserved it (54887)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by silvercity09 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (113993)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

#2238808
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48877) - you deserved it (17573)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13680) - you deserved it (110355)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

#2137630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46954) - you deserved it (2073)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by verycre8tive (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

#2042132
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (21160)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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