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meatyorb

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meatyorb

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8131
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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meatyorb's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:10pm<b>GreekGoddessGirl</b> - the 06/11/2010 at 8:18pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/24/2010 at 1:52pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 03/10/2010 at 5:19am<b>perdix</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 5:17pm<b>omghehehe</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:27pm<b>lawlfyl</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 10:23am<b>sheeraz</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 9:08am<b>ilikesexyparties</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 6:16pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:14pm<b>surfbumm</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:59pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:57pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 12:36pm<b>eiji_chan</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 9:47pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:06pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:59pm<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:03pm<b>ha</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:31am

meatyorb's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

meatyorb's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52328) - you deserved it (23371)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62680) - you deserved it (12176)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67325) - you deserved it (4891)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML

#3435644
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53774) - you deserved it (2481)

On 07/02/2009 at 8:18pm - work - by alwaysxgettingxshitxon (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

#3395753
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50173) - you deserved it (4630)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

#3383261
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44441) - you deserved it (6971)

On 07/01/2009 at 12:31am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband passed a massive kidney stone. He is so proud of it that he wants to decorate our home with it. It is now sitting on my kitchen counter next to my produce. FML

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123544) - you deserved it (9169)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML

#3267231
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you deserved it (16829)

On 06/27/2009 at 3:03am - work - by EmployeeOfTheMonth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML

#3129056
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49392) - you deserved it (2931)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML

#3127990
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46857) - you deserved it (10174)

On 06/22/2009 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML

#3085922
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52225) - you deserved it (2774)

On 06/21/2009 at 8:05am - intimacy - by Steph (woman) - Bulgaria (Grad Sofiya)

Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML

#3073543
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56667) - you deserved it (15703)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by anonyme (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a little girl standing next to me on the train suddenly hugged me. I thought maybe she was sad or I reminded her of someone, and hugged her back. Then she smiled, squeezed my lovehandles, and said "Honk, honk!" FML

#3030449
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38782) - you deserved it (6142)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:48pm - kids - by squeezable (woman) - United States (New York)



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