Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

meatyorb

Search for a member

meatyorb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8140
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

meatyorb's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:10pm<b>GreekGoddessGirl</b> - the 06/11/2010 at 8:18pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/24/2010 at 1:52pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 03/10/2010 at 5:19am<b>perdix</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 5:17pm<b>omghehehe</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:27pm<b>lawlfyl</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 10:23am<b>sheeraz</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 9:08am<b>ilikesexyparties</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 6:16pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:14pm<b>surfbumm</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:59pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:57pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 12:36pm<b>eiji_chan</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 9:47pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:06pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:59pm<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:03pm<b>ha</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:31am

meatyorb's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

meatyorb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112620) - you deserved it (8480)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

#4539697
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121802) - you deserved it (6309)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:33am - misc - by jellybean_94 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59670) - you deserved it (7145)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was helping my brother clean his room. While putting clothes away, I found a box of thongs. They were mine. FML

#4523037
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51787) - you deserved it (3431)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by haha247 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

#4511410
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49242) - you deserved it (18206)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by onehundredpercenteffed (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. Halfway through he asked me what day it was. I told him, "Friday." He jumped up and ran over to the TV yelling, "Oh my God! Shark week is almost over!!" I was cock-blocked by the Discovery Channel. FML

#4359063
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45795) - you deserved it (7638)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

#4357009
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52780) - you deserved it (10744)

On 08/07/2009 at 7:17am - intimacy - by nikkrissa_04 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (59332)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML

#4343153
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59494) - you deserved it (2608)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

#4332975
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48611) - you deserved it (4321)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

#4329775
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65456) - you deserved it (11944)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

#4326730
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48313) - you deserved it (16046)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (40393)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: