meatyorb

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meatyorb

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 February 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9384
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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meatyorb's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:10pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:26am<b>GreekGoddessGirl</b> - the 06/11/2010 at 8:18pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/24/2010 at 1:52pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 03/10/2010 at 5:19am<b>perdix</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 5:17pm<b>omghehehe</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:27pm<b>lawlfyl</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 10:23am<b>sheeraz</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 9:08am<b>ilikesexyparties</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 6:16pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:14pm<b>surfbumm</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:59pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:57pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 12:36pm<b>eiji_chan</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 9:47pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:06pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:59pm<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:03pm

meatyorb's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

meatyorb's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

by prickly / 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctors and was told I would need an inhaler. My mom came back from the pharmacy and told me the copay of $35 dollars was way too expensive, so she is making me use my cat's old inhaler. My mom values my cat's ability to breathe more then my own. FML

by juliasaman / 10/03/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my bike was stolen. It was no big deal, my name and number was on it, but it was a crappy bike anyway. I live 3 miles away, and while I was on my walk home I noticed a bike had been thrown through my principal's window. Who's bike was it? Mine. FML

by shield1123 / 09/28/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

by commando / 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

by Poowee / 09/18/2009 at 12:29am / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

by auscop / 09/17/2009 at 6:57am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

by sucksforme / 09/11/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

by isoheartcaitlin / 08/24/2009 at 11:34pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

by Girl / 08/18/2009 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy