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meatyorb

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meatyorb
  • Town/Country : usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 7709
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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meatyorb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

#70392
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67990) - you deserved it (4067)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

#24664
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (6469)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by Chicketi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76145) - you deserved it (23619)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85475) - you deserved it (4498)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML

#11959
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10713) - you deserved it (21804)

On 02/06/2009 at 4:50pm - misc - by yerbuagalapagos wonder (woman) - Ecuador (Galapagos)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42096) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

#11602
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (42451)

On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend's son asked me how much coke costs in this place. I told him "about a dollar?" He said "wow, that's really cheap for blow." He's 10. FML

#6869
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (1934)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm - kids - by Morgan (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

#4944
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21295) - you deserved it (4537)

On 02/01/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by achtung - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (1932)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (8377)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

#624
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27802) - you deserved it (2469)

On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

#288
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38739) - you deserved it (8730)

On 11/12/2008 at 9:39am - intimacy - by AirOne - United States (New York)

Today, my 63-year-old neighbor jumped out of his window. I was the first to find him, alive, naked and stuck in a bush. I guess I shouldn't have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance, because he was my landlord. FML

#24
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35582) - you deserved it (19670)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:32am - misc - by Benji -



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