Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

meatyorb

Search for a member

meatyorb

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8180
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

meatyorb's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:10pm<b>GreekGoddessGirl</b> - the 06/11/2010 at 8:18pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/24/2010 at 1:52pm<b>RuffRider022</b> - the 03/10/2010 at 5:19am<b>perdix</b> - the 03/09/2010 at 5:17pm<b>omghehehe</b> - the 11/23/2009 at 4:27pm<b>lawlfyl</b> - the 06/27/2009 at 10:23am<b>sheeraz</b> - the 06/10/2009 at 9:08am<b>ilikesexyparties</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 6:16pm<b>username666</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 5:14pm<b>surfbumm</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:59pm<b>wairdt</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:57pm<b>morenap</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 12:36pm<b>eiji_chan</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 9:47pm<b>nuclear</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 6:06pm<b>jessxoxo28</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:59pm<b>APrincess11</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:03pm<b>ha</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:31am

meatyorb's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

meatyorb's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23966) - you deserved it (5821)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (7559)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to yell out "Pass us the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

#8658018
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22734) - you deserved it (5613)

On 02/26/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by UnfortunateGirly (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29803) - you deserved it (1770)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (6692)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20046) - you deserved it (4258)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

#8040620
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (1877)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35742) - you deserved it (2545)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (3784)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (4925)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to pull cheese out of my PS3's disc tray because my younger brother assumed all PS3's could grill stuff because "Youtube told him." FML

#7315075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29695) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

#7077814
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30326) - you deserved it (3621)

On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (3042)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

#6578474
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36153) - you deserved it (3346)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that the person sending me secret love letters was actually my dad, who felt sorry for me. FML

#6564625
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45679) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: