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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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meatyorb

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meatyorb
  • Town/Country : usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 February 1989 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 6092
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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meatyorb's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (16454) - you deserved it (4021)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (17042) - you deserved it (5687)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to yell out "Pass us the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML

#8658018 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (15148) - you deserved it (3946)

On 02/26/2010 at 3:30am - misc - by UnfortunateGirly (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (1069)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

#8565371 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (4894)

On 02/22/2010 at 8:29pm - work - by Patrick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (12738) - you deserved it (2845)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

#8040620 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (1270)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

#8021510 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (1685)

On 02/08/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by disasterbutton (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (2675)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36723) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to pull cheese out of my PS3's disc tray because my younger brother assumed all PS3's could grill stuff because "Youtube told him." FML

#7315075 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (1936)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

#7077814 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (23315) - you deserved it (2620)

On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

#6613935 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (23944) - you deserved it (2186)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:10am - misc - by thewallrules - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

#6578474 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (28252) - you deserved it (2393)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)