About meaganxo : Hi I'm Meagan, I like cats.
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meaganxo's favorite FMLs
by cahsecuel / 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML
by Anonyme / 05/16/2014 at 3:55am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy
Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML
by Confused / 04/16/2014 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Vincent / 01/02/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Love
by grantsidiots / 11/27/2013 at 12:51am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2013 at 5:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to put the little girl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her down when she made a mad dash for the basement stairs, slipped on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stairs. FML
by little_star78 / 11/13/2013 at 6:08am / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 10:23am / United States / Kids
by Grandson / 11/07/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…