About mcxhunni : very bored, lol
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got my wisdom teeth taken out. The two male doctors told me they'd give me anesthesia, but when they did, I could still hear them. I heard them talking about my breasts and how flat they were for a 17 year old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30232) - you deserved it (2181)
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20884) - you deserved it (9843)
On 09/02/2010 at 5:09pm - intimacy - by Buzzie (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44924) - you deserved it (3124)
On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was forced to spend an extra $318 for another plane ticket to Dallas. The ticket wasn't for my daughter, my mom, or my sister, but for the quarter of my butt that apparently needs its own seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14992) - you deserved it (7201)
On 08/31/2010 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30474) - you deserved it (5035)
On 08/31/2010 at 1:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (10565)
On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (32098)
On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (11165)
On 08/30/2010 at 3:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (5321)
On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)
Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9292) - you deserved it (18155)
On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28652) - you deserved it (19837)
On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25121) - you deserved it (5023)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:19pm - love - by doesntkissalot - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in the car going to a concert with my family. I was listening to my iPod, when the wheel broke and I couldn't change the song. So for the rest of the trip, I was stuck either listening to my parents arguing, or Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin on repeat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19120) - you deserved it (4181)
On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by dontworrybehappy (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I decided to wear string panties. While in line at the mall, they became untied. I was wearing a skirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10715) - you deserved it (24912)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:54am - misc - by wearingshorts - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21839) - you deserved it (6375)
On 08/27/2010 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by gleefan116 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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