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Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11745) - you deserved it (24398)
On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)
Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37291) - you deserved it (6938)
On 10/31/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Andrew - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (2001)
On 10/30/2011 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38773) - you deserved it (1898)
On 10/30/2011 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (17086)
On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States
Today, during my fourth solo day working as a meter-maid, I had a vehicle towed for being parked in front of a fire hydrant. The vehicle belonged to the governor. I'm scared to even show my face at work next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21971) - you deserved it (3174)
On 10/28/2011 at 8:19pm - work - by NoMoreMeters - United States (Ohio)
Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38082) - you deserved it (1931)
On 10/24/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by lonely - United States (California)
Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17487) - you deserved it (11991) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (40965) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (21489)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8092) - you deserved it (43146)
On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12168) - you deserved it (53557)
On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (2070)
On 10/17/2011 at 7:46am - health - by Cats...FML (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6084) - you deserved it (55127)
On 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm - misc - by mass message (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (3801)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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