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Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (227) - you deserved it (1759)
On 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm - animals - by Doggotmytongue - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20607) - you deserved it (12241)
On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)
Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (4907)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (8247)
On 02/11/2013 at 1:17pm - kids - by juno_op (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29665) - you deserved it (1245)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom
Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (1420)
On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (2956)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9586) - you deserved it (36165)
On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32035) - you deserved it (2503)
Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13315) - you deserved it (26085)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36116) - you deserved it (2896)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (6203)
On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56541) - you deserved it (2007)
On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (2511)
On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22273) - you deserved it (2188)
On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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